May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
