I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
