What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
