4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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