So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
