I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
