his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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