Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
