I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
