Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
