oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
