Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
