he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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