Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
