If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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