So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
