how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
