it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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