Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
