Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
