So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Your cock deserves a montage
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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