IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Acid is not a monday night drug
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
