Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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