ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
