therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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