First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
