Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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