I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
