No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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