Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
