K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
