Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
