That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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