Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
