I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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