i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
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On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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