I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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