I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
