using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
