I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
