road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
