oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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