Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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