8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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