Dual....:-)
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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