she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
