i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
