Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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