Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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