no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
