It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
