You just made me feel so damn special
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
