Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Randomize
