ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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