Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
