that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
