Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
