I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
