Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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