I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize