You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
