I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
