i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You left your phone here
Wait...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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