ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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