Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
